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BBBS Ground Rules And Guidelines For Parents/Guardians

GENERAL GROUND RULES

  • All match participants, including parents, are required to have regular communication with their Mentoring Relationship Specialist (MRS) or Program Manager (PM). The frequency of this communication will vary depending on the length of the match. Please respond to all requests for communication within 48 business hours. Failure to communicate on a regular basis may result in termination of the match.
  •  Never discuss your child’s situations or problems in front of them. If there is something you think the mentor should know, call them when you know your child is not there. All personal information disclosed by you/your child to the mentor and/or BBBS professional staff will be kept confidential.EXCEPTION: If you or your child discloses any information that may be physically or emotionally harmful to them or someone else, this information will need to be shared with the Big Brothers Big Sisters professional staff and/or the proper authorities for child safety. If this occurs after hours, call the Child Abuse Hotline 1-877-NJ-Abuse and then Big Brothers Big Sisters as soon as possible.If there is something about the match relationship that concerns you, contact your MRS or PM at Big Brothers Big Sisters immediately.
  • You must notify Big Brothers Big Sisters if your place of residence or telephone number changes.
  • The match relationship is between your child and the mentor: no other individual is permitted to participate. Please do not ask that siblings, cousins or friends be included in a match meeting.
  • Mentors need to respect a parent’s role and authority; they should never come between a parent/guardian and their child. Please let your MRS or PM know of any issues or concerns.
  • At the time of match closure, work with your MRS or PM to arrange a proper closure meeting.

CHILD SAFETY

  • Be sure to inform your MRS or PM about your permission regarding photographing or sharing pictures of your child. We encourage matches to take pictures together as they build memories and to be sure to share them with their MRS or PM.
  • The mentor’s use of tobacco, alcohol, cannabis, and illegal drugs is strictly PROHIBITED during visits with your child and prescription drugs should be kept out of reach of children. Display or discussion of any materials of a sexual nature is prohibited.
  • Mentors should respect personal boundaries and be sensitive to the fact that a hug or any form of physical touch may not be comfortable for your child. Certain types of contact such as tickling, wrestling, pinching or asking to sit on an adult’s lap are more likely to violate a child’s personal boundaries. They may also represent “grooming” behavior by an individual who intends to sexually abuse a child and should, therefore, be avoided. Inform your MRS or PM of any concerns.
  • Notify the MRS or PM of any medical concerns, activity limitations, allergy concerns, fear of animals and/or prescribed medication schedules. Administration of medication should be handled by the parent and/or school nurse whenever possible.  Any emergency medical treatments that occur during an outing with the mentor will need to be reported to the agency immediately.


Guidelines for a Successful Match

  • Your child’s mentor is not a transportation service, gift provider, or childcare provider. Please do not treat them as such. Offer to pay for your child’s participation in any activity when possible.
  • Help your child to be considerate of their mentor by remembering their birthdays, making occasional phone calls, etc.
  • Work with the MRS or PM, mentor and your child to set REALISTIC goals for your child and celebrate achievements for the match.
  • Remind your child to show appreciation and say “thank you” for their efforts.
  • Forgive minor errors in judgment. Mentors are trained in relationship development and child safety but are not necessarily professionals.  If disagreement occurs, contact your MRS or PM.
  • The parent/guardian and/or school should not deprive the child of a visit with the mentor as means of discipline.  The time your child has with the mentor is important for the growth and development of the relationship. During times when the child is experiencing behavioral or academic difficulties, work with the mentor as a team to plan appropriate activities that still allow them to spend time together.
  • Give the relationship time to develop.  As a general rule, the relationship begins to develop in the first six months.  Get to know the mentor well enough to feel comfortable with them.
  • Contact your MSS or PM immediately to let them know of any problems you encounter. Please share news updates of your mentee’s accomplishments, celebrations, and contact information updates, and include pictures when possible.

In addition to the Ground Rules and Guidelines listed above, the following apply to specific program types:

 

COMMUNITY-BASED GROUND RULES

  • The mentor will tell you when they are returning your child home. It is your responsibility to be home on time when they arrive. They will also notify you of their activity for the outing. Be sure to communicate any concerns or activity limitations. It is the parent’s responsibility to dress the child appropriately, keeping the climate in mind.
  • A waiting period of a minimum of three months is required before a mentee is allowed to visit a mentor’s home. Any violation of this policy can result in match closure.
  • Overnight visits are not permitted. Any departure from this policy will result in the closure of the
  • In addition to the prohibition of tobacco, alcohol, cannabis, and illegal drugs while the mentor is with the child, the use of prescription drugs that can impair driving are prohibited during visits if the mentor will be responsible for transporting your child in a vehicle.
  • Firearms must be unloaded, locked away and out of reach of the mentee at all times. Any bullets or ammunition should be stored in a separate location. BBBS professional staff inquires about the presence of firearms in the mentor’s residence. Please discuss any concerns around firearms with your MRS or PM.
  • The parent must abide by state laws addressing child safety seat/seat belt/bicycle helmet guidelines (below) at all Discuss these issues with the parent. Provide a safety seat or helmet for your child, if necessary:

STATE LAW: Applies to all passenger vehicles including vans, pickup trucks and SUV’s, that are required to be equipped with seat belts. Applies to all passengers, who are at least 8 years of age but less than 18 years of age, and each driver and front seat passenger of a passenger automobile, operated on a street or highway. In accordance with New Jersey State Law as of September 1, 2015, all occupants are required to wear a properly adjusted and fastened seat belt system. This makes the driver responsible for proper seat belt use by all occupants who are under the age of 18. Children up to age 8 or 80 pounds must ride in a safety or booster seat in the rear seat of the vehicle. If there is no rear seat, the child must sit in the front seat secured by a child safety seat or booster seat. Children ages 8 years old and a height of 57 inches must wear a seat belt anywhere in the vehicle. If there is no rear seat, the child must sit in the front seat secured by a child safety seat or booster seat with the airbag deactivated.

  1. Young people under the age of 17 are required to wear an approved helmet when cycling, roller skating or in-line skating outdoors, or
  2. Any emergency medical treatment must be reported to the agency. Mentors must contact the parent first in the event of any necessary treatment. Communicate any medical limitations or allergies to BBBS and your child’s mentor. If at all possible, administer any necessary medication before the match activity. Parental permission for medication is
  3. Any pets that may be a concern should be kept away from the mentor during pick up/drop off.
  4. No siblings, cousins, neighbors, or friends of any mentee are to participate in match activities or be transported by the mentor. Big Brothers Big Sisters assumes no control, liability or responsibility for injuries, harm or damages in any form associated with or resulting from a violation of this
  5. The mentor must be solely responsible for the transportation of their mentee and must be present at all times during match activities.

Additional Guidelines for Community Based Matches

  • Guidelines for Match Outings:
    1. Match activity details should be discussed with you before the activity.
    2. Ensure your child is dressed appropriately for the activity.
    3. Be sure to contact your child’s mentor if you are running late.
    4. Consider scheduling the next meeting at the end of each outing.
  • Phone calls between visits are encouraged. Help your child maintain contact.

SITE-BASED GROUND RULES

  • Mentees should follow school policy when using the restroom. Mentors must use school-approved adult bathrooms.
  • Under no circumstance is a Site-Based mentor permitted to transport a mentee to and from school or agency events or to meet outside of school Violation of this policy will result in match termination. Matches who are enrolled in the Site Based Plus Program may do so after additional training and screening have taken place. Any violation of this policy will result in an evaluation and possible match termination.
  • Site Based Matches are permitted to exchange phone numbers and email addresses only with parental permission and approval from the MRS or PM.

Additional Guidelines for Site-Based Matches

  • Site Based Matches meet at the program location during the match’s scheduled time and day. A schedule will be provided to you. Please contact your PM if your child is unable to attend a scheduled meeting and give 24-hour notice whenever possible.

MENTOR2.0 PROGRAM GROUND RULES

  • Mentor2.0 matches are permitted to exchange phone numbers and email addresses. If mentee is under the age of 18, parental permission must be granted.
  • Matches are permitted to meet outside of the designated school or BBBS sponsored events only after approval of Site-Based Plus Meetings.
  • Mentors are permitted to transport mentees, and mentees are permitted to transport mentors only after approval of Site-Based Plus Meetings.

Additional Guidelines for Mentor2.0

  • Mentor2.0 matches meet monthly for an event at the program location during a scheduled time and day. If a match is unable to attend that monthly event, they may contact the MRS or PM to make other arrangements.
    EXCEPTION: If the match is part of the Site-Based Plus Program, they can make arrangements to meet outside of the designated school location for the monthly meeting. However, the MRS or Program Manager MUST be notified of the date, place and time of the meeting.
  • Mentor2.0 matches will communicate weekly via iMentor platform regarding iMentor lessons.