Mentor Ground Rules and Guidelines

General Ground Rules

1. All personal information disclosed by your mentee is to be kept confidential.
2. Never discuss your mentee’s situations or problems in front of them.
   EXCEPTION: If your mentee discloses any information that may be physically or emotionally harmful to them or someone else, this information will need to be shared with the Big Brothers Big Sisters professional staff. Inform your mentee that you need to talk to Big Brothers Big Sisters about this because the mentee could be in danger. If this occurs after hours, call the Child Abuse Hotline 1-877-NJ-Abuse and then Big Brothers Big Sisters as soon as the office is open.
3. All match participants are required to have regular communication with their Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager. The frequency of this communication will vary depending on the length of the match. Please respond to all requests for communication within 48 business hours.
4. Failure to communicate on a regular basis with your Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager may result in termination of the match. Also, you must notify Big Brothers Big Sisters if your place of residence or telephone number changes.
5. At the time of match closure, work with your Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager so that a proper closing meeting can be facilitated.

Child Safety

1. Be sure to consult your Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager about parent permission before photographing or sharing pictures of your mentee. We encourage you to take pictures together as you build memories and be sure to share them with your Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager.
2. The use of tobacco, alcohol, cannabis, and illegal drugs is strictly PROHIBITED during visits with your mentee.
3. Prescription drugs should be kept out of reach of mentees
4. Be sensitive to the fact that a hug or any form of physical touch may not be comfortable for your mentee. Therefore, respect personal boundaries.
5. Display or discussion of any materials of a sexual nature is prohibited.
6. Check with your Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager to ensure that your mentee has no allergies before bringing food or taking them outside.

Guidelines for a Successful Match

1. Be honest. Be yourself. Give the relationship time to develop.
2. Be consistent and dependable.
3. Set REALISTIC goals for your mentee and celebrate achievements. Work with your Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager at the agency to set goals and accomplish them.
4. Always be supportive of the parent, even when you disagree. Do not make judgments concerning any family situation. It is appropriate for you to correct misbehavior within the context of your friendship but leave the “parenting” to the parent.
5. Avoid extravagant gifts and limit gift giving to special occasions.
6. Let your mentee share in making decisions about your relationship and match activities.
7. Feel free to say “no” to any outlandish requests. Notify your MRS or PM if this becomes a pattern.
8. Contact your MSS or PM immediately to let them know of any problems you encounter. Please share news updates of your mentee’s accomplishments, celebrations, and contact information updates, and include pictures when possible.

In addition to the Ground Rules and Guidelines listed above, the following apply to specific program types:

Community Based Ground Rules

1. A waiting period of a minimum of three months is required before a mentee is allowed to visit a mentor’s home. Any violation of this policy can result in match closure.
2. Overnight visits are not permitted. Any departure from this policy will result in the closure of your match.
3. In addition to the prohibition of tobacco, alcohol, cannabis, and illegal drugs while with your mentee, the use of prescription drugs that can impair driving are prohibited during visits with your mentee if you will be responsible for transporting your mentee in a vehicle.
4. Firearms must be unloaded, locked away and out of reach to your mentee. Any bullets or ammunition should be stored in a separate location. Make sure your Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager is aware of any firearms that are stored in your residence.
5. During visits with your mentee, adhere to child safety seat/seat belt/bicycle helmet guidelines (below) at all times. Discuss these issues with the parent. You should not have to purchase your own child safety seat or helmet.STATE LAW: Applies to all passenger vehicles including vans, pickup trucks and SUV’s, that are required to be equipped with seat belts. Applies to all passengers, who are at least 8 years of age but less than 18 years of age, and each driver and front seat passenger of a passenger automobile, operated on a street or highway. In accordance with New Jersey State Law as of September 1, 2015, all occupants are required to wear a properly adjusted and fastened seat belt system. This makes the driver responsible for proper seat belt use by all occupants who are under the age of 18. Children up to age 8 or 80 pounds must ride in a safety or booster seat in the rear seat of the vehicle. If there is no rear seat, the child must sit in the front seat secured by a child safety seat or booster seat. Children ages 8 years old and a height of 57 inches must wear a seat belt anywhere in the vehicle. If there is no rear seat, the child must sit in the front seat secured by a child safety seat or booster seat with the airbag deactivated.
6. Young people under the age of 17 are required to wear an approved helmet when cycling, roller skating, in-line skating, or skateboarding.
7. Any emergency medical treatment must be reported to the agency. Contact the parent first in the event of any necessary treatment. Make sure you know any medical limitations or allergies of your mentee. If it is necessary to administer medication to a mentee, please have the parent/guardian do so before the match activity. Parental permission for medication is mandatory.
8. Any pets that may be a concern should always be kept away from your mentee. Please let your Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager know if you get a new pet.
9. Mentors must provide separate changing, and bathing areas for mentees.
10. No siblings, cousins, neighbors, or friends of any mentee are to participate in match activities or be transported by the mentor. Big Brothers Big Sisters assumes no control, liability or responsibility for injuries, harm or damages in any form associated with or resulting from a violation of this policy.
11. The mentor must be solely responsible for the transportation of their mentee and must always be present during match activities.

Additional Guidelines

1. Make a practice of seeing your mentee a reasonable amount of time and remain consistent.
2. Do not include any outside people on outings with your mentee until they are accustomed to you.
3. Guidelines for Match Outings:
   a. Discuss match activity details with parent/guardian before activity.
   b. Ensure your mentee knows the appropriate attire for the activity.
   c. Call before arriving to pick up mentee.
   d. Be sure to contact your mentee’s parent/guardian if you are running late.
   e. Consider scheduling your next meeting at the end of each outing.
4. Phone calls between visits are encouraged.

Site-Based Ground Rules

1. Mentees should follow school policy when using the restroom. Mentors must use school-approved adult bathrooms. Never use the same restroom as your mentee.
2. If your mentee is behaving inappropriately, contact a school staff member immediately.
3. Under no circumstance is a Site-Based mentor permitted to transport a mentee to and from school or to meet outside of school grounds. Violation of this policy will result in match termination. Matches who are enrolled in the Site Based Plus Program may do so after additional training and screening have taken place. Any violation of this policy will result in an evaluation and possible match termination.
4. Site-Based mentors are not to transport mentees to or from agency events.
5. Site Based Matches are permitted to exchange phone numbers and email addresses with parental permission and approval from the Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager.

Additional Guidelines for Site-Based Matches

1. Site Based Matches meet at the program location during the match’s scheduled time and day. Changes may be made when necessary. Please notify your Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager if a change is necessary.
2. Please contact your Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager if you are unable to attend a scheduled meeting with your mentee and give 24-hour notice whenever possible
3. If meeting location arrangements are not satisfactory, please contact your Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager.
4. Establish a routine of calling the school’s office to see if your mentee is present on the day of your meeting.
5. Feel free to occasionally check with your mentee’s teacher to see how your mentee is doing in school.

Mentor 2.0 Program Ground Rules 

1. Mentor2.0 matches are permitted to exchange phone numbers and email addresses. If Mentee is under the age of 18, parental permission must be granted.
2. Matches are permitted to meet outside of the designated school or BBBS sponsored events after approval of Site-Based Plus Meetings.
3. Mentors are permitted to transport mentees, and mentees are permitted to transport mentors after approval of Site-Based Plus Meetings.

Additional Guidelines for Mentor 2.0

1. Mentor2.0 matches meet monthly for an event at the program location during a scheduled time and day. If a match is unable to attend that monthly event, they may contact the Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager to make other arrangements. EXCEPTION: If the match is part of the Site-Based Plus Program, they can make arrangements to meet outside of the designated school location. However, the Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager MUST be notified of the date, place and time of the meeting.
2. Please contact your Mentoring Relationship Specialist or Program Manager if you are unable to attend a scheduled monthly event with your mentee and give 24-hour notice whenever possible.
3. Mentor2.0 matches will communicate weekly via iMentor platform regarding iMentor lessons.

I am willing that a photocopy or digital copy of all authorizations in this form be accepted with the same authority as the original document.